So I lost my headphones out of my pocket today. I was flying along with my head out the window like a Labrador retriever and my pocket flap opened in the wind. I lose a lot of stuff out the window. I lost about two thirds of a ham sandwich last week.
If there were a Disney ride where you could shoot a machine gun from a three thousand horsepower helicopter at 150 miles per hour people would pay hundreds or thousands to ride it. The Army can make even that suck sometimes.
I have had a string of long days. I am on the emergency response team for another few days. After a long day and a frantic flight chasing tragedies, I end up sitting on my bed exhausted, battered, bruised, achy, hypoglycemic, dehydrated, sunburned, windburned, ears ringing, eyes bloodshot, soaked in sweat, and shaky from the adrenaline.
I have had a good chance to get to know a few of the most elite American fighters. I think they all have a few things in common. They all know they do an important job that they can do and most others can't.
A long time ago I must have learned some lesson about getting up after proverbially getting knocked down. I think I've always thought that was about learning from your mistakes and moving on. There is something else about knowing you are going to get knocked down because you have done it a hundred times in a row. Knowing you are going to get knocked down again and again and still getting up is something different.
Instead of all that stuff, today I flew in perfect weather with great visibility and no urgency to get anywhere. It felt great.
63 Years of Memories....
63 Years of Memories....
that's what I have now. The photo below shows the chair on the point which for so many years was my father's favorite after-supper place to contemplate and cast for walleye. As much as I feel guilty about what's happened, I know he would understand and even say there's nothing to forgive. He lived life fully and moved on many times. I'm the one with the unique experience of being attached to a beautiful place for my whole life. And despite all my best efforts, yesterday the 'cabin' was sold. I signed the papers and, truth be told, a weight was lifted. A new life lies ahead without the obligations, but with all of the wonderful memories. My unrelentingly positive attitude says this is truly how it is, but my heart is still sad.
There are some things in life for which the balance between the obligation and the joy of ownership often cannot be sustained forever. It became clear that I was no longer up to the task of taking care of the place quite a while back. However, knowing what needs to be done and doing it are often far apart. Finally, no choice was left. It had to be sold.
Now it's gone. No more worrying about how long the grass or how deep the snow is up there. No more sublimely pleasurable early morning cups of coffee sitting on the dock when the color of the lake is like pale blue glass and the air is completely still. No more endless repairs, high taxes, and utility bills. No more late nights around the fire pit with friends and family - warm from both fire and friendship. No more frozen pipes or emergency calls to the furnace guys. No more saunas and midnight skinny dipping that make you feel like you'll live forever while your connection with nature is confirmed by the gazillion stars of the milky way and the loons calling out in the dark. No more concerns with low well water levels or water so hard and full of iron the clothes turn yellow and your newly washed hair feels like brillo. No more finding the way home by boat in the dark after a long day on the lake feeling like this is the only place you really, really belong. No more praying that the boathouse will make it another year without collapsing. And ultimately, no more making new memories with friends, family and loved ones. No new memories, that is, at Half Bay, Lake Vermilion, Tower, MN. New life... here we come!
How do you thank a place for memories?
1 comment:
Six thoughts in six paragraphs and you saved the best for last!
Glad you have some enjoyable moments. We all think of you often and wish you more of those few precious enjoyable moments!
hugs,Mom
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