I had another long day/night. That is no big suprise. We have been flying so much recently.
I might be switching out to a FOB soon. If i go it will be for a few months. I will be working by myself if that is the case. I am not really excited about going but I am not very affraid either. I guess as the germans say " Es ist mir egal." I know Britta and Tania read that and think "thats just like Bert". Whatever, so it is. I realized today that this place could be a really positive and great experience. If everyone wasn't so wrapped in their egos and power trips, making us do stupid bullshit, this might even come close to being moderately, kind of, sort of, enjoyable. I guess I am still in the tranistion phase. I am getting used to having only a few hours of sleep. I can still feel it in my PT though. Maybe it is the altitude also. All of the foreigners are so pleasant and thankfull that we are here. I am really suprise by the coalition. I thought that it would be just Americans saying that they were coalition but it really is very international. The Canadians are hung up on not being americans but everyone else is really cool. even the french. I don't have a lot of time today. but I will be back to the keyboard later.
Feeling a little better (maybe just delerious from lack of sleep) and lots of love
-Bert
63 Years of Memories....
63 Years of Memories....
that's what I have now. The photo below shows the chair on the point which for so many years was my father's favorite after-supper place to contemplate and cast for walleye. As much as I feel guilty about what's happened, I know he would understand and even say there's nothing to forgive. He lived life fully and moved on many times. I'm the one with the unique experience of being attached to a beautiful place for my whole life. And despite all my best efforts, yesterday the 'cabin' was sold. I signed the papers and, truth be told, a weight was lifted. A new life lies ahead without the obligations, but with all of the wonderful memories. My unrelentingly positive attitude says this is truly how it is, but my heart is still sad.
There are some things in life for which the balance between the obligation and the joy of ownership often cannot be sustained forever. It became clear that I was no longer up to the task of taking care of the place quite a while back. However, knowing what needs to be done and doing it are often far apart. Finally, no choice was left. It had to be sold.
Now it's gone. No more worrying about how long the grass or how deep the snow is up there. No more sublimely pleasurable early morning cups of coffee sitting on the dock when the color of the lake is like pale blue glass and the air is completely still. No more endless repairs, high taxes, and utility bills. No more late nights around the fire pit with friends and family - warm from both fire and friendship. No more frozen pipes or emergency calls to the furnace guys. No more saunas and midnight skinny dipping that make you feel like you'll live forever while your connection with nature is confirmed by the gazillion stars of the milky way and the loons calling out in the dark. No more concerns with low well water levels or water so hard and full of iron the clothes turn yellow and your newly washed hair feels like brillo. No more finding the way home by boat in the dark after a long day on the lake feeling like this is the only place you really, really belong. No more praying that the boathouse will make it another year without collapsing. And ultimately, no more making new memories with friends, family and loved ones. No new memories, that is, at Half Bay, Lake Vermilion, Tower, MN. New life... here we come!
How do you thank a place for memories?
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